The Bishop speaks - June 19, 2009
I consider these last eight days, including tomorrow, as the days of our lives richer in love and sacrifice, suffering, conversions, physical miracles and spiritual trials, just as we were in Gethsemane. For you to understand the meaning of what I say, you must compare it with the experiences you live in your life. When you know that a person is suffering, and you have sensitivity and heart, you participate in this suffering, but without any change in your lifestyle. Perhaps someone may smile if I remind you the trial God asked to Abraham, but how many of you would offer in sacrifice your own son if God so demanded? Surely you would toss on the ground crying for mercy and asking for compassion, but you go on if it does not pertain to you personally. Similarly, you get used to the terrible suffering of your Bishop and the seer especially, since they are now so many years that you hear about it. You keep on with your life, you certainly pray and think about us, but it is a reality that does not totally engage you. But when it happens to you to have a problem then you believe you understand us more. I tell you that you cannot really do it because nobody attained the intensity of suffering we attained: it is hard to talk because I am forced to experience again some awful moments, but somehow I have to bring out everything from my heart, from my mind and especially from my soul. You have realized that last Sunday your Bishop and the seer were really feeling bad. Marisa, despite all the aid promised by Jesus, was forced to go back home because she could not take anymore and I completed the function simply because I got help and support from above, otherwise I would have definitely collapsed. But what happened that was so awful? Last Saturday, in the morning, Marisa made me aware of a secret she was keeping since many years consisting in something awful and appalling she would have to undergo. I called this a cruel test because I was sure that it could not come from God. Since Saturday morning I started to feel bad, but in the afternoon, when the Virgin confirmed word for word what I was told by Marisa, I found myself living an awful experience. You know, and it is often repeated, that Our Lady always had a great suffering in her heart for she knew from the beginning that her Son would have lived a terrible Passion. You, if you were in a situation to know beforehand the sufferings of your children, would you agree to it? Just think to the many years Marisa has lived while keeping this terrible secret but only a few hours were enough to destroy me. When I informed the nephews on what God had asked their aunt, my wound was further enlarged, for I saw in their eyes and their souls an unprecedented suffering. At times, believe me, to be alone in pain is a gain, for to see reflected in the others the tremendous hues of suffering is by any means more destructive. I was feeling bad, they were feeling bad. Yari had to buy what was needed to put into practice what God had asked, try to figure out with what mood he and his wife did it. Saturday I could not sleep a wink, that's why on Sunday I could not even walk. I saw again and again the scene before my eyes, assailed by questions: why, how come? I not even rested for five minutes and when I went down on Sunday, both during the procession with the Eucharistic Adoration and the Holy Mass I felt like reliving Christ's passion. Then Monday morning came: it's hard to obey God, but when you are asked for something that seems impossible it emanates from Him, then there is a spasmodic struggle that destroys you. I did not sleep either on Saturday or Sunday. Monday came; I was supposed to be the executioner of the person to whom I was closest. I attended, I was there, but I could not manage to physically perform the action. Chiara was with me and I am grateful to her; she did what I was supposed to do. You cannot even imagine how we cried at that time and a real storm of questions unleashed on me: My God, why are you asking this? Why do you want to destroy us, why do you want to annihilate us? And then you say you love us? I beg you (and I had started this prayer since Saturday), do as with Abraham: You asked, he agreed, but then you did not allow him to go on with what you had asked. But what was asked from us? Here it is! (The Bishop emptied a bag on the desk). They are three hundred and thirty feet of rope with which Marisa had to be tied. Indeed she was tied starting from beneath the sole of her feet, then up the ankles, both legs, trunk, arms, and going up to her face. If I did not die, and I would have liked to die, it is only because God has given me some help, but I could not make it to tighten the knots. Three hundred and thirty feet, do you realize it? Marisa is already so sick that even a sloppy simple seam of a pajama trouser is hurting her, leaving conspicuous signs on her skin; how could she have eaten, gone to the bathroom or just simply stayed in bed, so tied she was? God showed me her broken and bleeding body. Chiara and I kept on crying. She, happy to suffer, with ecstatic face encouraged us by saying: "Come on, do the will of God". When, with suffering, fatigue and pain, the rope reached the top of her head (Marisa was already suffering from the pain) Our Lady intervened and said: "My children, God has accepted the Bishop's prayers and tears and He is commanding you to untie her. It is like if it were done what God asked. You cannot imagine how many souls of lay people, nuns, priests and bishops have been converted! Many lay people and many young people". Yes, this is a joy, but who can forget the experienced terror? You have no idea of how Our Lady, grandmother Iolanda and St. Joseph, who were present, cried; I think that even they did not knew that God would have said enough. And I was crying to them to go to God and plead with Him, but they said that God had ordered them to stay there and could not do anything. On Tuesday Marisa still had severe pain, a consequence of martyrdom caused by the rope, along with those already present in the bones, stomach, digestive system and so on. Then on Wednesday she was assailed by such aches and pains that she was screaming and I have never heard her screaming like that. Put yourselves in our place and ask God the reason for this apparent cruelty. I only found out in the night between Wednesday and Thursday the reason for this additional suffering, but she already knew. You know that the Lord let me understand only when He decides. God has asked for all this additional suffering in order to remove, for the second time, a colon cancer the Bishop had. But do we have to come to this? Nobody in my family has suffered or is suffering from cancer diseases, but you know that sometimes it is suffering and pain leading to this terrible disease, and I caught it twice and twice the Lord released me. But only thanks to Marisa's atrocious sufferings. On the other hand this is what she wrote in the prayer she read on the feast of Corpus Domini: "The most valuable and beautiful part of this offer (her suffering), was reserved for my brother Claudio, without him knowing it, during the long years of seminar and the first years of his priesthood. When we met, I confessed him with simplicity that I had accompanied him step by step so he may become a priest according to Your heart".
Since then we formed the couple, priest and victim, and this couple has been going on for 38 years. On 15th July next it will be 38 years; will Marisa reach the thirty-eighth anniversary of our meeting? I hope not, and you too, if you love her, should wish it. Don't you think it is time for her to hoist sails, as Paul says, and finally reach the promised prize? Someone, coming to us and not knowing our history, might be surprised and even shocked, but I say what I feel: Marisa's suffering is even greater than Jesus', both in intensity and duration. No saint can be compared to her, and those who have repeatedly conversed with her have acknowledged it, as Padre Pio, who repeatedly said: "My little sister, I have never suffered as much as you did". Tomorrow will be the last day of this labor, full of grace, conversions, physical miracles, love and suffering, but how will it end? Will there be a call from God? Will there be a song "And now, Lord let your servant depart in your peace"? Tomorrow is the feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which occurs in the month of the Sacred Heart of Jesus; tomorrow is Marisa's birthday, tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of my Episcopal ordination and I have the right to ask God for a gift; please join me in asking for this gift. Do not ask me any more questions, do not ask me anything more for I will be in labor to answer; I just ask if any of you, as tomorrow is Saturday and you do not go to work, give God a little of your time when at home, do it and God will be happy about it. We must snatch this grace from God. Marisa has snatched many graces from God for us and many of you have received them both spiritually and physically; and now it is up to us to snatch this grace from to God, and time will tell.
But now I want to leave you with a smile and a bit of peace: I want you to know about a meeting with High Above that took place on 8 June this year. It was already a quarter to midnight, one of the recurring moment of Marisa's suffering. God came and said something concerning you all as well:
Grandmother Yolanda: Do you want to talk with me?
Marisa: Just to you, my mommy.
Grandmother Yolanda: My adored daughter, star in the sky, my little beloved angel, be quiet, be good, do what the Virgin Mary say, what can I say? I am very fond of the Bishop and I love him.
Marisa: I did not want to hear this, mommy, I wanted you to tell me that you are taking me away, I am not interested in Heaven, in purgatory it is just as fine.
(See, such is the pain that one gives up the Heaven as long as there is an end to Earth's Hell)
Marisa: Please mommy, my beautiful little virgin Mary, take me in purgatory, reach me there and keep me company, for it was me asking to go to purgatory, as I cannot take it anymore, believe me, I cannot take it anymore. Take me in purgatory, it does not matter if I do not see God, I will see my mom and the Mother of the Eucharist, take me in purgatory, I beg you, I cannot take it anymore, I cannot take it anymore.
Bishop: Here I am!
Marisa: Please, you too tell them to take me in purgatory because I cannot take it anymore.
Bishop: Only God can give you some relief, do not ask me this, please. It seems absurd to go to purgatory after a lifetime of suffering.
Marisa: I do not care.
Bishop: I turn with affection and respect to Our Lady: You, Mother of Heaven, can help little Marisa, because your Son put His power in your hands, you can snatch the grace from your Son. You have snatched many of them, starting from the wedding at Cana, now do the same for this daughter of yours who is suffering so much, she is annihilating, or rather, we are annihilating. Don't you see, dear Mother of Heaven, what a terrible situation we are in?
Our Lady: Do not worry, I will never take her to purgatory, her place is in Heaven next to God, very close to God.
Marisa: When, when, when? It seems you are kidding me, you all are kidding me. God, why have You forsaken me? What have I done to You, what have I done to You?
Bishop: God, you only have in your hand the solution to give a little relief to this creature who for every year of her life, she gave You, day after day, suffering, hardship and sacrifices. My God, we have asked You many times, do utter that word. Jesus, her divine spouse, remember that in a few days we will celebrate the first year since I asked You to put next to the word "enough" a word of encouragement and You said "soon". Do you think one year is too soon, above all a year so awful and terrible? Our life is impossible, this life is destroying us, we are almost annihilated, one by one we fall like skittles but not the men of the Church. Actually, the absurdity is that they seem stronger and stronger, more and more powerful and most followed, instead we are tried, tired and disheartened. I cry from the depths of my soul: my God, I know You are here, but I still cry: where are You, where are You, my God? You wanted us to call You Daddy, then treat us like a Daddy would. When a child turns to his dad for help and comfort, he does not hold back and so we are asking You. Leave aside, my God, the Church, priests, seminarists, nuns, visionaries, missionaries and look here. This is not selfishness, look at us so much tried since a very long time. God, You know better than I do how many awful years we have lived, yet we have always tried to be faithful to You, but now we are collapsing one by one like skittles. I do not have any more strength to support the people You have entrusted me with because I am too tried and exhausted, I no longer have the energy to help and support the others. My God, for You a day earlier or a day later what is the difference? For us a lot. The thought that tomorrow will be like today, that the day after tomorrow will be like tomorrow terrifies me and makes me feel bad too. Never before in the past few days I have been feeling so bad, how can I help those who are worse than me if I cannot take it anymore? Are you listening to me, God? I do not expect that You answer me, but I hope you will give permission to Our Lady to say a few words of comfort so that everyone may recover. Look at us, Marisa, me, Laura and Yari are destroyed, morally and physically, the smile on our lips is fading away, serenity is gone from our hearts, peace has fled from our soul and our eyes are sad and pleading. They plead to You, my God, to pull us out from this terrible situation, it costs nothing to You. I say it again, put aside everything and think about every person belonging to this family. I feel like saying: my God, why have You forsaken me? Here it is, we are all suffering, just the children are left out, let them sleep at least, let them rest, let them live peacefully and calmly, they play and joke, sometimes they argue, but they are small quarrels of children soon vanishing. My God, You see the conditions of the four of us, sometimes it seems that the lamp of faith is so shaken so that it seems is going out and hope is leaving us. Yet, despite everything, we strive to love You and do Your will, yet, we would like to feel Your love and know that You are going to meet our present and difficult situations. What must we do, my God, spend another night like the previous one? And tomorrow how will we find the strength to support those who are sick? I repeat: I am not asking, I dare not ask Your direct intervention, but I hope in a speech from the Mother of the Eucharist.
(God the Father arrived instead)
God the Father: I have not forsaken you, this is the path you have to follow, but I have not forsaken you, I love you and I have always loved you, despite the suffering I have always loved you. I am God and I cannot forsake you and I did not forsake you. I am following a path that tomorrow will generate true happiness in you all. I am God, I cannot give you what you want immediately, I am following a path for you, I love you very much. When you talk in a certain way I suffer from it, but I love you, the path I am following is for all those people who have loved me, have loved you and love you.
God the Father: Courage, courage, do not let yourselves go, do not give up, be strong as my Son Jesus was.
Marisa: My God excuse me if I dare, but your Son Jesus was on the cross for three hours and I am there since several years.
God the Father: Little Marisa, I expected this answer, but it is not like that and you know it well. Jesus had to reopen the heaven, had to save mankind and you follow his walk; his path, do not forget, it's too beautiful. When you will go to Heaven you will see joy, happiness and all that you did not expect on earth but it is there in Heaven, for all of you. Be fond of each other as I am with you. You think I am not fond of you, I forget and I have no interest in you? No, it is not like that: I love you, I love you and I am fond of you and I want to take you to Heaven. It is no use, little Marisa, to keep saying that you want to go to purgatory, you will not go to purgatory.
(At this point God the Father is telling us some very personal things and then goes on)
God the Father: I wish to you all a goodnight and I pray for you so you may spend a quiet night, a happy night. But if this does not happen, it is not in my hands, I will do my best to let you have a happy night. The two young people will have a happy night because they can sleep more easily, unlike the two of you. Then I will pray for the two of you and for those who love you so you all may have a happy and peaceful night. When little Marisa - and this has happened several times - will pretend to sleep, it is doing it for you, Excellency, for you must have a rest.
Bishop: You must not allow it, my God!
God the Father: You have to accept it, my dear, because it is her task. Together with my great Bishop ordained by Me, I God bless you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Greetings to all.
Bishop: May I ask you something?
God the Father: Sure.
Bishop: Will you give us absolution, my God, to all four of us?
God the Father: Do you feel in sin?
Bishop: No, but the sacrament grants other graces.
God the Father: You are a cunning fellow. Last time I gave you absolution because you told me: to whom I am going to confess? I have no time to go out, I cannot go out.
Bishop: Yes, I said so.
God the Father: And I, what have I said to you? I said come to Me, God the Father. Here, I come to you. Then I absolve all four of you for your sins in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Now you, Excellency, give the blessing to these children.
(Bishop is blessing)
God the Father: You were better than I was because you have said the rite properly, while I gave absolution without reciting the entire rite.
(But God needs no words, facts He must make)
God the Father: And now go and have a rest, be happy because you have received absolution from God.
Here it is, I wanted to read this conversation to lift up your spirit a little bit.